As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize