Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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