I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
