No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
