when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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