My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.