in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize