If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.