Your mouth is God's brothel.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
