yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?