Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in