She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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