just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
