Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
