Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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