Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
