I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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