so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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