Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
