Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
