If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
