If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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