It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
