After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
