So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
