hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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