I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Im part way to drunk.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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