hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize