This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
