I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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