Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
