I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
