yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
