i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
