fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
