She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
