she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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