Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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