just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
