smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
