Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Are we still banned from the library?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think my moral compass just broke
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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