i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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