Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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