I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
