You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He did a backflip because drugs
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
