When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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