Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
