I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We left an ass print on the piano.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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