He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
