i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
