Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
