feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
