Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize