You work out of a Hotel?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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