can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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