I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I could fuck to npr.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
