How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
